Toughing It Out Together

Like most married couples, we go through moody and sunshine days.
Whenever we’re in the midst of a disagreement or a quarrel, we -more of i- will try to conceal and replace negative feelings with draggy round-the-bush discussions. As they say, an unhealthy method of facing your problems/ dilemmas. 
With many series of tough-it-out talks (links back to courtship days) we had, i’ve learnt to listen diligently, shoved aside my save-face attitude, cast away my warrioress must-win mentally, so to fully understand the focus, a solution. It was never easy for me, initially.
I’ve been known (or perceived by others) to be self-dependent, sometimes self-absorbed, a stubborn mindset that sieves out criticsms… Mind you i do take in useful criticsms and advices at times.

I’m very thankful to have a husband like Doug, without his gentleness, humbleness and determination to MUST resolve any tension between us all times, i would have easily sucked in my anger/ frustration towards our differences/ challenges in a click, march into silent war pretending it will all fade away gradually… That’s my denial mode sometimes.

Yes, although trash-it-out talks does lead to tears, anger, defensive mode, tension, one’s true colours… It always turns out sunny and blissful so long we are willing to meet in the middle, willing to knock selfish walls down, willing to share real thoughts and hurts.

Brewing myself to this no-pain-no-gain process is no longer pretentious, no longer difficult. And our secret recipe to this? Large tablespoon of pride-aside spice.